Well, to recap from last week the kids flew back to be with their mom for the school year this past Saturday
My youngest cried in my arms inconsolably as she waited to board the plane and even cried as she walked down the jet way. I expected things to be a little better when we talked after landing but it was not to be. She sounded happy at first but started crying after a few minutes. Her mom could be heard in the background saying, "You have to stop this it's JUST daddy." I did get a chance to speak with her a couple days later and she seems to have adjusted to being back there. We are looking forward to Thanksgiving and possibly a hunting trip.
Monday morning began bright and early with our introduction to some of the faculty members of the Health Sciences Center. We learned of the finer points of our next 3 years and received a significant instillation of fear for the upcoming academic challenges. Anatomy, according to the upper class students, will be the most fun/interesting. I am personally very excited about the cadaver lab. Physiology, according to all who care to share, will be the most demoralizing inhumane treatment I have ever had. I'm not sure if they are aware of the recent years I spent fighting with the mother of my children. I certainly hope that was worse than Phys will be. Intro to Nursing and Abnormal Psych might prove to be hidden gems in the education career. We'll see. Tuesday was a tour with the upper class students and registration for classes. I am more excited after the tour. Wednesday we completed our application with the Louisiana State Board of Nursing and we're off to the races. Purchasing electronic gadgets for classroom interaction and new software for writing in APA format. One more day of orientation scheduled for Tuesday and the first day of class n Wednesday. Tomorrow I start the day early with a trip to my Unit for the weekend on the rifle range proving that I can still hit the broad side of a barn.
See you next week.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Friday, August 1, 2014
The best summer in a long time has come to an end
So here we are. August 1st as I write this post. School starts for me next week and my sweet angels are flying back to California tomorrow to be with their mom and start school next week as well.
The summer began with confirmation from LSUHSC SoN that I am accepted. YES!
The girls flew out two weeks late because I had some military obligations during the first 2 weeks of June. They have told me that next year they want to come as soon as possible no matter what my obligations are. We began our fantastic summer in grand style on the evening of June 15th. They arrived as scheduled and after the requisite hugs (required for me) we went on to our traditional Coffee and Beignets for the summer kick off. We spent lazy days at the pool and active days at the park or going to visit family in nearby suburbs.
The girls enjoyed arts and crafts at the local Michael's and spent a week learning the finer points of working as a Soda Jerk in an Ice Cream Parlor. We took a weekend trip to Alabama to visit in-laws and do some more swimming, fishing and relaxing in general. We did not want to leave the country setting so we made plans to return next summer and even for Thanksgiving. Upon our return to the NOLA area we jumped back into the pool routine (when it wasn't raining). Took a day trip to the aquarium, rode the street car from City Park to the river and today is a trip to Audubon Zoo.
Right now the younger angel is trying to maintain denial and avoid packing while the young teen angel can't wait to get back to her friends in CA so she is packing with a purpose. Tonight we will have more family in for a farewell to summer evening as their older sister comes to visit with her beau.
This summer has been the best summer I have ever spent with family. The time off that I have enjoyed with the little angels has been complemented by some very special time with my wife, my father, my mother and my sisters; as well as our in-laws on both sides.
Soon we will be wrapped into our professional and educational pursuits looking forward to the next wonderful family time we have. Until then, I will hold the memories of our smiles and hugs dear and faithfully push forward to our next embrace.
I love the little cupcakes dearly and I will miss them immensely. I am blessed, though, to share this empty nest with the best wife a man could have.
The Summer Ends
The summer began with confirmation from LSUHSC SoN that I am accepted. YES!
The girls flew out two weeks late because I had some military obligations during the first 2 weeks of June. They have told me that next year they want to come as soon as possible no matter what my obligations are. We began our fantastic summer in grand style on the evening of June 15th. They arrived as scheduled and after the requisite hugs (required for me) we went on to our traditional Coffee and Beignets for the summer kick off. We spent lazy days at the pool and active days at the park or going to visit family in nearby suburbs.
The girls enjoyed arts and crafts at the local Michael's and spent a week learning the finer points of working as a Soda Jerk in an Ice Cream Parlor. We took a weekend trip to Alabama to visit in-laws and do some more swimming, fishing and relaxing in general. We did not want to leave the country setting so we made plans to return next summer and even for Thanksgiving. Upon our return to the NOLA area we jumped back into the pool routine (when it wasn't raining). Took a day trip to the aquarium, rode the street car from City Park to the river and today is a trip to Audubon Zoo.
Right now the younger angel is trying to maintain denial and avoid packing while the young teen angel can't wait to get back to her friends in CA so she is packing with a purpose. Tonight we will have more family in for a farewell to summer evening as their older sister comes to visit with her beau.
This summer has been the best summer I have ever spent with family. The time off that I have enjoyed with the little angels has been complemented by some very special time with my wife, my father, my mother and my sisters; as well as our in-laws on both sides.
Soon we will be wrapped into our professional and educational pursuits looking forward to the next wonderful family time we have. Until then, I will hold the memories of our smiles and hugs dear and faithfully push forward to our next embrace.
I love the little cupcakes dearly and I will miss them immensely. I am blessed, though, to share this empty nest with the best wife a man could have.
The Summer Ends
Monday, March 24, 2014
Letters are going out this week
Just got word from the network that LSUHSC is putting acceptance letters in the mail soon. Gonna be checking the mail with a lump in my throat for the next few days.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Interview with LSU Health Sciences Center in New Orleans for the School of Nursing
I had my interview this past Saturday. It was quite the experience. I am not sure how many prospects there are but I know that there are only 100 slots. I hope I get in.
Monday, December 23, 2013
November 2009
When November finally came the girls and I drove their mom to the airport where she boarded a plane to go spend a month away from us. My girls cried while I tried to maintain my composure.
Within a few days the girls and I had a slid routine. We woke without issue got dressed and had breakfast as a family. They called their mom every morning though she did not always answer and when she did it was usually in the fog of a hang-over if not plain drunk. She was considerably vague with them and me but ultimately I still thought she would come to realize what she was destroying was more valuable than what she was seeking.
None the less as a family of three we were a great team and we did well with the absence of their mom. We shared Thanksgiving with my mom and sisters and had a wonderful time. Their mom was scheduled to return the next day and true to her waffling form she called seeking my approval for her to stay longer. In hindsight I should have just said fine and filed for divorce on the grounds of abandonment. What I did was read her the riot act and tell her that if she did not return the next day then she should never return. My girls were having a slumber party and waiting up for the return of their mother. I could only imagine how heartbroken they would have been. She returned and told me how horrible I was for placing her children above her friends. All of her friends hated me for being such an ogre. She spent the next day on the phone trying to ignore the world around her. When she wasn't on the phone she had her ipod blaring in her ears and did her best to ignore or annoy anyone who cared to pay attention.
This November was different. The day after Thanksgiving my daughters celebrated with me and my new bride a start of something wonderful. I remarried and all I can say is thank you to the woman who left me for setting me free to create a better home for them. There is still a struggle for my kids but now when they come here I have the blessing from God to be able to show them what love is, how a man should treat a woman, and how a woman should treat a man. We are forever here a family even when they are far away.
Check back soon for what can only be described as "A Long December"
Within a few days the girls and I had a slid routine. We woke without issue got dressed and had breakfast as a family. They called their mom every morning though she did not always answer and when she did it was usually in the fog of a hang-over if not plain drunk. She was considerably vague with them and me but ultimately I still thought she would come to realize what she was destroying was more valuable than what she was seeking.
None the less as a family of three we were a great team and we did well with the absence of their mom. We shared Thanksgiving with my mom and sisters and had a wonderful time. Their mom was scheduled to return the next day and true to her waffling form she called seeking my approval for her to stay longer. In hindsight I should have just said fine and filed for divorce on the grounds of abandonment. What I did was read her the riot act and tell her that if she did not return the next day then she should never return. My girls were having a slumber party and waiting up for the return of their mother. I could only imagine how heartbroken they would have been. She returned and told me how horrible I was for placing her children above her friends. All of her friends hated me for being such an ogre. She spent the next day on the phone trying to ignore the world around her. When she wasn't on the phone she had her ipod blaring in her ears and did her best to ignore or annoy anyone who cared to pay attention.
This November was different. The day after Thanksgiving my daughters celebrated with me and my new bride a start of something wonderful. I remarried and all I can say is thank you to the woman who left me for setting me free to create a better home for them. There is still a struggle for my kids but now when they come here I have the blessing from God to be able to show them what love is, how a man should treat a woman, and how a woman should treat a man. We are forever here a family even when they are far away.
Check back soon for what can only be described as "A Long December"
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Wow! That was a bit negative...
I just read last weeks post and I can't get myself emotionally back to that point. I'll simply say I am happy about that...
When all of this first started I didn't understand what was going on. As a husband and a father in the home I worked hard to attempt to ensure that my wife and children did not want for anything. I woke early every morning and made it into my downtown New Orleans office to start the day at 7:00 AM. I would work a regular day most times but at least one day a week I trudged on through lunch to get an extra hour in. I left at 4:30 PM every day in order to be home for dinner and to help with the kids homework. All of this would be fine if it were enough to keep the cash flowing. Any recruiter will tell you that it isn't. I often had calls at night to work with candidates and to manage new changes to the process that inevitably came up. The lifestyle we lived could not be supported on a 9-5 job and it always seemed that there was never enough. I have to take equal responsibility for always wanting more.
In retrospect we were not happy with each other so we looked for other things to fill the void of our dissatisfaction.
In September 2009 I was in position to launch into orbit in my career. I was working several high profile searches to include a CEO and a CFO for two separate small cap E&P companies. I had just completed my CPC certification and attended the NAPS convention in Vegas with my then boss and our team. It was a rough trip on the home front. I took my truck keys with me not even thinking that there was any need for it at home while I was gone. It turned out that there was car trouble and the truck was needed. My minor oversight became a huge point of contention but there was unfortunately nothing I could do. My boss and I agreed to cut the trip short and we left a day early before the rest of the team. I got home around midnight on a Friday and woke up on Saturday to a request for a divorce. At first she said that she wanted to move to CA. I responded with the exact same response as every other time we moved. "I'll quit my job and we'll move." I was serious and sincere. She said, "No. I'm leaving." We went back forth over issues and I tried every tactic I could think of to stop the destruction of our family. Our daughters were 6 and 8 at the time and I kept hearing her voice from just 3 years before. She said, "I want the girls to graduate with the same friends they make in elementary school." I worked ridiculously hard to get the home in the best neighborhood and to begin planting roots in the community. All of this was to no avail and felt like a first class waste of time for the entire effort I had made. All I ever wanted to do is satisfy my wife and as it turns out she was simply insatiable and I had failed her.
There are many more colorful ways to make that statement and she is pretty good at putting them together.
For the month of October she planned a trip away from me and the girls to CA. She moved into another room in our place and began roaming everywhere with ear buds and music blasting in her ears. The girls began to notice that she was unavailable to them and it simply broke my heart to watch them struggle with this. I started working from home in order to make sure that the kids got to school on time and get meals prepared for them. Their mom was nowhere to be found. The body that she once inhabited walked around and stirred emotions but had nothing to offer to anyone except verbal announcements of her discontent. She spent time with my friends wife. Spewing her negativity about anything and everything that was me.
I had convinced her to marry me and have kids against her will.
She never loved me.
I was a horrible husband and inattentive father
The thought of kissing me repulsed her
These were just a few of the things often heard by my friends wife and by my daughters. She was still insistent on spending for the things she desired. She did not want to eat what we had at home and she had quit her part time job so she had no money to spend. She was very free with going to the bank and removing money. She purchased a ticket to go to CA for the month of November. I quickly secured another bank account to protect the remaining funds and had my paycheck moved to that account. The account would not receive a check until the middle of November. I was at least able to get the rent paid for November before she spent it all.
I remember thinking at the time that she would come to her senses soon and that we would get through this time. That wasn't to be... I'll tell you about November next week.
When all of this first started I didn't understand what was going on. As a husband and a father in the home I worked hard to attempt to ensure that my wife and children did not want for anything. I woke early every morning and made it into my downtown New Orleans office to start the day at 7:00 AM. I would work a regular day most times but at least one day a week I trudged on through lunch to get an extra hour in. I left at 4:30 PM every day in order to be home for dinner and to help with the kids homework. All of this would be fine if it were enough to keep the cash flowing. Any recruiter will tell you that it isn't. I often had calls at night to work with candidates and to manage new changes to the process that inevitably came up. The lifestyle we lived could not be supported on a 9-5 job and it always seemed that there was never enough. I have to take equal responsibility for always wanting more.
In retrospect we were not happy with each other so we looked for other things to fill the void of our dissatisfaction.
In September 2009 I was in position to launch into orbit in my career. I was working several high profile searches to include a CEO and a CFO for two separate small cap E&P companies. I had just completed my CPC certification and attended the NAPS convention in Vegas with my then boss and our team. It was a rough trip on the home front. I took my truck keys with me not even thinking that there was any need for it at home while I was gone. It turned out that there was car trouble and the truck was needed. My minor oversight became a huge point of contention but there was unfortunately nothing I could do. My boss and I agreed to cut the trip short and we left a day early before the rest of the team. I got home around midnight on a Friday and woke up on Saturday to a request for a divorce. At first she said that she wanted to move to CA. I responded with the exact same response as every other time we moved. "I'll quit my job and we'll move." I was serious and sincere. She said, "No. I'm leaving." We went back forth over issues and I tried every tactic I could think of to stop the destruction of our family. Our daughters were 6 and 8 at the time and I kept hearing her voice from just 3 years before. She said, "I want the girls to graduate with the same friends they make in elementary school." I worked ridiculously hard to get the home in the best neighborhood and to begin planting roots in the community. All of this was to no avail and felt like a first class waste of time for the entire effort I had made. All I ever wanted to do is satisfy my wife and as it turns out she was simply insatiable and I had failed her.
There are many more colorful ways to make that statement and she is pretty good at putting them together.
For the month of October she planned a trip away from me and the girls to CA. She moved into another room in our place and began roaming everywhere with ear buds and music blasting in her ears. The girls began to notice that she was unavailable to them and it simply broke my heart to watch them struggle with this. I started working from home in order to make sure that the kids got to school on time and get meals prepared for them. Their mom was nowhere to be found. The body that she once inhabited walked around and stirred emotions but had nothing to offer to anyone except verbal announcements of her discontent. She spent time with my friends wife. Spewing her negativity about anything and everything that was me.
I had convinced her to marry me and have kids against her will.
She never loved me.
I was a horrible husband and inattentive father
The thought of kissing me repulsed her
These were just a few of the things often heard by my friends wife and by my daughters. She was still insistent on spending for the things she desired. She did not want to eat what we had at home and she had quit her part time job so she had no money to spend. She was very free with going to the bank and removing money. She purchased a ticket to go to CA for the month of November. I quickly secured another bank account to protect the remaining funds and had my paycheck moved to that account. The account would not receive a check until the middle of November. I was at least able to get the rent paid for November before she spent it all.
I remember thinking at the time that she would come to her senses soon and that we would get through this time. That wasn't to be... I'll tell you about November next week.
Monday, December 2, 2013
It's been a while...
Well I have had quite a run since the last post...
No longer working as a headhunter and taking a break from the oil & gas industry I am currently a full time student with plans to start at LSU Health Sciences next fall for the Nursing program.
Years of trying to satisfy the insatiable appetite of my now ex-wife drove me into bankruptcy and a total loss of everything that I thought I was working for. As times got tough she picked up and left and I did what I thought my save a relationship but only served to sacrifice my rights as a father to keep my kids in this state with me. I eventually found a great position with some old school friends and I had a lot of fun selling lightning protection to the oil & gas industry but ultimately I just did not feel fulfilled. I had joined the National Guard to secure some health care benefits for my children and in 2012 the time came to pay the debt for that health care. I trained as a medic and took a trip to Afghanistan to support our nation's war on terror. I got some exposure to both the good and the bad of healthcare and trauma and I found an opportunity to get back on track.
Now with 12 years active duty served in our armed forces I have an opportunity to earn a nursing degree and an active commission as a nurse in the military. I'll be able to retire from the military and still get a great post service career. You will not find much of the oil & gas industry here anymore. I may some day return to the industry as a plant or offshore medical provider but until then this is the sight that I will begin the chronological account of events leading up to this moment.
Today my children live in California with their mother.
I am remarried to the most amazing woman I have ever known.
My future is professionally very bright.
AND
I pray for the day that my children come to live with me in Louisiana.
4 years ago today their mother, having spent the entire month of November in CA, contacted an outpatient women's clinic to have a procedure performed. She had told me at the beginning of October 2009 that she wanted a divorce; she was moving to CA and if I did not let the kids go with her she would never see them again. I should have seen the wisdom in allowing them to have a life without her instead of trying to make sure she was a part of their life. That's my opinion. Perhaps in time you'll agree; perhaps not. I don't care what you think though; this blog, story and life is mine. I'm living it and the only thing you are reading is the manifestation of my best attempt at coping with missing the only good that ever came from my relationship with a woman to whom I was married for over 10 years.
More to come...
No longer working as a headhunter and taking a break from the oil & gas industry I am currently a full time student with plans to start at LSU Health Sciences next fall for the Nursing program.
Years of trying to satisfy the insatiable appetite of my now ex-wife drove me into bankruptcy and a total loss of everything that I thought I was working for. As times got tough she picked up and left and I did what I thought my save a relationship but only served to sacrifice my rights as a father to keep my kids in this state with me. I eventually found a great position with some old school friends and I had a lot of fun selling lightning protection to the oil & gas industry but ultimately I just did not feel fulfilled. I had joined the National Guard to secure some health care benefits for my children and in 2012 the time came to pay the debt for that health care. I trained as a medic and took a trip to Afghanistan to support our nation's war on terror. I got some exposure to both the good and the bad of healthcare and trauma and I found an opportunity to get back on track.
Now with 12 years active duty served in our armed forces I have an opportunity to earn a nursing degree and an active commission as a nurse in the military. I'll be able to retire from the military and still get a great post service career. You will not find much of the oil & gas industry here anymore. I may some day return to the industry as a plant or offshore medical provider but until then this is the sight that I will begin the chronological account of events leading up to this moment.
Today my children live in California with their mother.
I am remarried to the most amazing woman I have ever known.
My future is professionally very bright.
AND
I pray for the day that my children come to live with me in Louisiana.
4 years ago today their mother, having spent the entire month of November in CA, contacted an outpatient women's clinic to have a procedure performed. She had told me at the beginning of October 2009 that she wanted a divorce; she was moving to CA and if I did not let the kids go with her she would never see them again. I should have seen the wisdom in allowing them to have a life without her instead of trying to make sure she was a part of their life. That's my opinion. Perhaps in time you'll agree; perhaps not. I don't care what you think though; this blog, story and life is mine. I'm living it and the only thing you are reading is the manifestation of my best attempt at coping with missing the only good that ever came from my relationship with a woman to whom I was married for over 10 years.
More to come...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)